Economics

I have this theory. This theory involves a little bit of Economics. Bear with me.

I've begun measuring masculinity in terms of deadweight loss to society. Deadweight loss to society of course meaning dead time in this case. Like in a football match there are all those seconds that are devoted to a trot, a swagger, an over-the-shooulder glance, and no game. The same thing happens with people of course. Quotidian vaults of dead seconds amass and I'm becoming more and more keenly aware of their presence. I am attempting to suss out the facts and determine the root causes. Here's one:

Excess masculinity leads to deadweight loss to society. How?

Well, I am defining masculinity here to be a lack of consideration for others coupled with a heightened sense of aloofness/obliviousness.

What's interesting is that you find a lot of masculinity in Economics lectures-- especially in large ones. For an individual that sits near the front of a lecture hall it takes an astounding amount of manuevering, pleading, and general squirrely-ness to exit near the back of the lecture hall. Pretty many conversations such as these impede such individuals from moving along their desired path at their desired speed:

"Yaoooo. Where you gettin lunch at?"
*scratches stomach, yawns* "I don't know man."
"Cascadeli?"
*looks around, fixes hat* "Sure."
*yawns, scratches, sways.* "We out."

All the while the future head of the IMF is standing behind the towering individuals, poking his head around the pair looking for an alternate route and stammering something inaudible to them.

Frequently adorning the aisles are large individuals that simply stand. No conversation is taking place, but it appears as though the map of the day, or the schedule of the day, rather, is flashing through the mind of the large individual. He holds fast to the straps of his backpack, arches his back, and he contemplatively examines the ceiling. This man is a major obstacle in the aisle and he takes no notice of the individuals quickly becoming congestion behind his back.

What I find interesting here is to think of the rapidly expanding conglomeration of dead seconds. Say there are 15 individuals angrily jammed into place behind the large, ponderous man. Each of those individuals loses 10 seconds. That is a net loss of 150 seconds to society due to the sheer and complete obliviousness of the planning man. Imagine that similar occurences (dialogues and musing men) happen thrice in one exit. That's 450 dead seconds.  This lecture meets three times per week. That's 1,350 seconds per week. 14 week semesters? 18,900 seconds. 315 minutes of cost imposed upon the individuals forgotten behind the back. And, imagine that this happens in two classes! And, imagine that this happens elsewhere--in dining halls, libraries, on the sidewalks, in financial aid offices! Then, in the real world (post offices, blah, etc...)!

Quite a hefty sum of seconds quickly becomes lost to everyday tasks and general joy that one could and should be partaking in.

There are a few simple steps I take in order to mitigate this externality:

1) rudeness: if you value and understand the sheer weight of these numbers and think about it, you, much like myself, might begin simply shouting at people instead of allowing them to partake in the absent minded reveries of a sleepy afternoon, morning, whenever. When I see a large ponderous man I don't timidly beg him pardon, I demand pardon. "EXCUSE YOU" becomes an important phrase in my arsenal. Normally, such things impose social costs upon you. You don't want to be perceived as a rude person, correct? Well, that is only because you are not rationally thinking about the costs that the individual is imposing upon you. When you think about it in a larger context, perhaps you may get angry.

2) finger snapping: When I see a person about to veer off in front of me in a hallway and place an unwarranted and unsolicited damper on my original pace, I snap my fingers. Loud. Multiple times. Then, they look and see what is happening, and my trot takes precedence.

I suppose what must happen is you fight aloofness and obliviousness (which I have defined as masculinity) with an overpowering masculinity. You must not care about the social costs of being a rude person. Actually, you must revel in it. You must maliciously grin as you plow your way through conversation upon conversation about food and crazy weekends. You must hold your net high and collect those seconds that so rightly belong to you and put them to use!!!!

Tiocfaidh ar la!