Today I returned to New Orleans. Today I remained in Binghamton. We are legion. One and two, but mostly one.

more eyes?

She was literally tearing out my heart! When her hands began to shake and her nostrils began to flare, I knew I would see my end, but I thought an insult might somehow reverse the reaction I had created. I was wrong. Lilly was my pal for 4 years and I really thought we had a great thing. When I asked her out a few minutes ago, I truly didn't realize that I would turn into an asshole shortly after "yes" was uttered. Well the past is the past and things happen as they will. The obscene and misogynist comments rang out like never before seen. I had never felt better. I screamed these things not because I meant them but because this is the way of the masochist. I had to do bad for bad to come to me.
Well, as her hand dug into my chest and spilled blood all over the new rug of my San Diego home, I couldn't helop but smile. A smile for one and all. I had my dream girl and she possessed my heart completely. "No" would never escape my throat again. Although this wasn't completely because I was with my dream girl and feeling as if the world were completely free and true, this fact was a contributing reason. My sight blurred and all I could see was her, with tears of rage in her eyes and me standing looking back at her in those same wonderfully gorgeous eyes. I couldn't see my sofa anymore, nor could I see the door. The memories were no where but in those eyes. No more sleeping on life or kicking loved ones out of my life. I would be crystallized for the remainder of time in those green crystalline eyes. Then, as black enshrouded her body's outline, I looked down and saw in her hand my heart and I said "What horrible thing" to which she responded "Most certainly" and all went out of existence except for eyes, except for the image of me.

eyes

The situation has been bleak. I've taken on the heavy burden of relief and I suppose that is my fault. To confess one's sins is to give them life. To destroy the lie that silence breeds and to create "responsibility" and consequence. It is a selfish thing to be free sometimes. I have been so selfish. The nonchalant reply to my confessions have only made the punishment begin. The punishment of knowing that your sins aren't important and that you are, in fact, not at all important. The relief takes on a suffocating essence. The absence of matter now turns into an abyss of doubt. What was there and what is there now? My sin's realization has, instead of taking away the pain provided by the secretive sin, has merely taken away the secretive sin's affect on the mind and put into action the known sin which ravages the mind in society. The doubt!! The intensity of the public eyes invades the intensity of the private eye.

Meh

I get really interested in these cool girls I meet, but they all seem to be already involved with way cooler guys. Nice guys don't always finish last, I guess.

the Banality of Evil

I don't wanna get up! I would very much so like to enthusiastically sit perfectly still in my bedroom everyday. It's because life is full of regret for me. I haven't yet moved to enact any of the numerous things that would have me appalled but the thoughts are there and in my world it is as if I have done all those things and more. I've daydreamed of convincing widows to sleep with me on their late husband's graves. I've kicked the leaders of Peru in the shin so hard that they just looked over at me and said "Why?" I've publicly challenged the greatest runners to their signature events and lost, only to endure the humiliation for eternity. I've defaced beautiful art in rage and jealousy after an admirer who I in turn admired, made statements in awe. I have stolen girls from dear friends, spit on the grandmother's of war victims, cut of the pink toes of dogs, swindled the blind and most atrociously purposefully conveyed unrequited love for an ego boost. I'm the swine of my own earth and I dare not cast that upon the world. The world has done nothing to me, given nothing to me, and taken only age. All the things I regret, I regret because given the chance, I would have everyone do them. I would live in a world where my regret dissipated under the banality of the order. I would have the Banality of Evil.

Got this game. Bored of this game.

Sooooo bored. Okay, so I made this game a couple of years ago. It was fun at first, but to be honest most things are when they're first starrted. Sewing my little monstrosities together and making them interact was literally the definition of fun. But hear me out, every little part of this game is just boring now. The players do the same things, i'm expected to do the same things. Dammit. I don't wanna do the same things and when I don't do the same things my play things claim that i'm not playing.
The little fucks say "God!Why were you so vicious in the old testament" and I just get sort of quite until someone defends me. I used to like to play the game a certain way, but now I just like to pick it up every now and then and do something without so much zeal and clamorous dominance. I just don't really care that much any more. The game goes on without me and i'm completely okay with that. I'm thinking about making another game, but I don't want those characters to turn into douchebags too. Fuck it i'm getting rid of this game. I'm fucking God after all, right?
t

Rat Babies

"Rat Babies" was the only thing he'd ever say to anyone online. He was a weird fucking guy. He's the type of guy that would Facebook chat his ex-girlfriend from 4 year's ago's best friend at 2:34 A.M and just write "RAT BABIES!"

I have no idea what he's up to these days.