Waking up in the graveyard.

The trees are swaying as I am woken from a night of bliss and jack, slightly on the rocks. The decaying arbre above sways and appears to metamorphose into an array of colors and things. For a moment, my perception tells me it’s a person. For a moment, I lose consciousness and arise again, only to realize that I stand in the convening place of the dead person’s society. The graveyard is endless and somewhat intimidating. I slept the night there, but I’m not so sure I would want such an unfriendly spot for a permanent resting place. I guess I'd rather a sunny spot with rainbows and ponies. Meh, who knows. The tree is a tree again, spiders scurry up intt its dark crevices. C’mon. Is this serious? How ridiculously cliche! Spiders creeping about in a graveyard on a huge tree. Spiders which guard the tree, as I guard the gates of hell. Yes, that’s right. I guard the gate(GATES depending on the day)of hell nowadays. How? Well, that's a useless question, but, a position opened up 2 months ago and I applied with an admittedly shitty resume, and I got the gig. I started a month ago, so my job was somewhat difficult after a month’s worth of corpses piled up just waiting for the idiot willing to take this job. Why do they even want to get in the gates anyway?

The spiders are the most annoying part of this job. When I fall asleep, I can feel them crawling closer to me, as if I’m some fucking prisoner, but I’m not a fucking prisoner! Those stupid things spend their days tearing the dead to pieces over and over again, and yea, I guess that’s cool, but I’m not a fucking prisoner! I’m thinking of filing a formal complaint, but my boss isn’t the most welcoming man in the world and I don’t want to make things difficult for myself when I’m here in a few years.

One of the perks of the job is that you get to find out whether or not you’ll be going to heaven or coming to hell when you perish. You also find out how you’ll die. What they don’t tell you in the interview or before you accept the job, is that by accepting the job you agree to spend eternity there and immediately die a pain free death. The perks of the job aren’t so great. The terms of the job aren't initially clear. I'm thinking about filing a formal complaint.

A spider just ripped into my leg.