Friday, February 11, 2011

No worries.

I’m floating today. And that’s not because of the medicine I crammed down my throat during a mad rush for the bathroom door. Whatever. But wait, I’m floating through something today . Through this encounter mostly. Yes, yes, my body’s particles have seemingly merged with and then separated from the ideas you expose me to, this morning. The blue rug, brown cat, broken Jameson bottle on my floor all see me floating, and yes they’re all wondering how they’ll get me down. The spectacular “No worries.” Oh baby, yes baby, those were the wonderful words you said to me, and then I was floating, ignoring your new words, honoring the old. And the spider web connecting the two walls clasped me tight, attention-wise babe. Yeah babe, I’m floating today with my eyes on the spiderweb, above the cat moaning at me, the flying specter, but yea, it won’t be moaning in a second. In a second, I’ll fall, just like you want me to. And then I’ll be sitting, with a blue rug, an unseen spiderweb, a broken Jameson bottle, and a fucking dead cat.

“No worries.”

Maybe if I'd made it, ya know this morning when I headed for the shitter, maybe I would have died before this melodic embrace. Me on the ground, you cradling my head. But no, the pills sank to my belly's bottom and you called me, made me laugh, and we spoke for 20 minutes. But that's when the dog was still with us. He ran out while I spoke. I thought I'd beat him to the exit. But then a horn beeped outside. Real loudness, reeling me into sanity. Then I was in, and he was out. Poor fucking dog.

You're still here, and I'm still on this fucking cat. But right now, I inwardly snicker, because you don't know the plan. GAHHHH. Hm. The plan is to sneak back to the bathroom. You won't follow me in. I know it. When I get in there though. When I get in there though. When I get in there though. Mind looping. It does that sometimes, give it some air, just two fucking seconds, please. When I get in there, we'll continue where we left off, with me hanging from the cliff, singing the song that never ends, cramming pills into my mouth in between moves in a Me V ME!game of tic-tac-toe.

What do you say as I inwardly snicker? "No worries." Go fuck yourself.

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